the lunar eclipse condensed to 3 seconds, for those of you who had clouds or are in a hurry
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
Will never not be the best reaction gif use
"EXCUSE Me how dare u"
So like last week I was in melbourne and I walked up to a girl and told her this world’s an ugly place, but you’re so beautiful to me and then she blushed and giggled and I asked her if it was cool to hold her hand and she said yes and long story short that’s how I picked up a girl with blink-182 lyrics.
"When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”
"I asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. “Of course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, it’s the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But I’ll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone else’s cat.”"
That was so beautiful
what if we’re all characters in a book
WHAT IF WHEN YOU FORGET WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY IT’S THE AUTHOR BACKSPACING
guys why isn’t everyone reblogging this it’s a scientific breakthrough
and when you’ve had a sense that you’ve been through a certain day or moment before, it’s cuz the author is re-writing the same part of the story, just with better context
Dude, my author fucking sucks.
the guy in front of me walked into a post and i was so busy laughing that i walked into the same post
we’re going for coffee tomorrow morning